I want to feel something, ANYTHING. Even pain is better than the emptiness i feel right now

I just wrote down all of the times where you did me wrong, but I just deleted them. I’m ready to make it work. Are you? I realize both of us have our own imperfections. I guess pressure in life and people got in our way. I have my scars too, deeper than you think. Of all the years of our friendship, I needed you so badly last year, you had no idea. Oh no, you had no idea. Our communication broke down so badly, I didn’t even know how to tell you. And I’m sorry for judging you. I may have tons of people around me now, but no, nobody can replace what we had. I may have been stupid once, twice…but no, enough, I miss you. I have been so used to keeping it all inside, I couldn’t even tell you that. Screw what they say. Screw every single bad thing that happens in our lives. Screw all this “pay back to each other”. I just wished we could have been there for each other. I needed to isolate myself, to think. I’m sorry. I’m slowly picking the pieces back up, and I’m trying to put everything back together. Yes, I admit it, we hurt each other. Maybe it was me, maybe it was you. Either way, I couldn’t believe we let her come between us. We were close, tight. We were each other’s rock. I didn’t even realize why I kept picking stuff that was your favourite music when I went shopping. It’s not even my favourite music. And yet I asked for them anyway. They say its tough once you lose each other’s trust, but I believe it was a mixture of miscommunication and bad judgment. We can do this. Both of us. We can. We just need to start somewhere. Let’s make it work.

There is only one person who won’t walk away from me. There is only one person who won’t judge me for my actions. There is only one person who won’t take takes both with and against me. There is only one person who will stay with me throughout every heartbreak, friendship and whatever else life throws at me. There is only one person who understand me. There is only one person who will criticise me truthfully. There will only be one person who throughout everything will be at my side 100%

I thought it was you but it isn't.

That person is me.

I don’t deserve to find true love.

this reminded me of desolation sound.I think about him every fucking day.

I feel like I want to cry right now, but I can't because Kellys coming over.

My favourite part about my smile is that it can hide anything.

It can hide the fact that I feel like I am suffocating in my own body.

I’m scared that I’ll never be able to let go.

Not that I’ll never be able to move on. But that I’ll meet someone and still never have the feeling that you gave me. Knowing that I’ll never have you. Never. I would never have the same sensational feeling. And the worst part: You’re not even in my life anymore. That’s what hurts the most.

I liked beach drives because it meant that I got to stay in your presence for that much longer.

I miss your long hugs.

Even though you’re the one who screws up every single time, I want you back. And I know that you’re no good for me or whatever you want to say. But I really don’t care. You know me better than I know myself. You know my likes and dislikes and stuff that no one would ever know because I don’t even know them myself. But you cheat, you leave, and then come back thinking everything will be okay as “friends.” And we all know that you’re the worst thing for me. But we also all know that if and when you come back asking for another chance, I’d say yes in a heartbeat and I’ll be willing to get hurt and go through the cycle all over again. And sadly, I’m okay with that.

I wish you were as amazing as I say you are

I’ve discovered that you can’t be constantly worried about what people do or what they think about you; because if you do, your life becomes less than a life. It becomes merely an attempt to cope.

I could not stop thinking about you today.

Mostly, I couldn't stop thinking about how you weren't thinking about me. I wish you still cared

I dont know whatto do with myself anymore. theres nothing good about me left.

I wish I took this picture. I want to be beside you.

Heartbroken. Really, really bad.

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.

I love you and I do not know if I could ever stop, if I could ever let go, if I could give you up. I love you and I wish you loved me too. Please, baby, come back

WHEN I LIE IN BED AT NIGHT, I PICTURE YOU LAYING IN YOUR BED. THEN I MENTALLY TRANSPORT YOU FROM YOUR BED TO MINE, AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LIE IN YOUR ARMS.

Some times i get so upset and depressed i dont know what to do with my self. The littlest things make me cry, and all i want to do is sleep. I hate it.

Firsts:
 The first time you held my hand, I got goose bumps everywhere. The first time you put your arm around me, I went home and smelled my shirt because your scent was still there. The first time we kissed, I seriously thought we were in love. The first time you left me, I thought you took my heart with you.

Now it’s our lasts and I don’t know how to function without you.

I used to know this boy
Who gave his love away

To every girl he met
And with all the games he played
He never seemed to cry
He never got upset
And one by one they came
And one by one they left
I thought that I could fix him
If he would let me in
But all of my advances
Were shut down in the end
When days turned into months
I begged him to explain
And this is what he sang:

I just want every girl I see
To walk away with part of me
Until theres nothing left to hold
Until theres nothing left to hate
I appreciate your help
But even you can't save me from myself

I used to know this girl
Who took notes in a book
But she ripped out all the pages
Before I got a look
At all the words she scribbled
At all the lines she filled
But the ink stains on her fingers
Told me she was skilled
At capturing a feeling
That most of us just miss
The simple pain of living
With goodbyes on our lips
I found one of the pages
Crumpled by his bed
And this is how is read:

It's not like I am weak
Or that I don't know how to leave
It's just that everytime you cheat
You bring me closer to defeat
Until theres nothing left to love
Until theres nothing left to say
I know that you need help
But even I can't save you from yourself.

I just had the strangest dream. I was holding my own heart in my hands. My mom said: “This is a very dangerous thing to do. Your heart can get very easily infected this way.”
I said: “I don’t care.” I left the apartment and I embarked upon a journey.
As I was walking along, my heart suddenly said to me: “You know, I don’t particularly appreciate being outside of your ribcage. I don’t think you care about protecting me and that will harm you too in the long run. Please put me back inside.”
I said: “But I think you are beautiful and I want people to see that.”
My heart said: “You will give me away to the first person that comes along…”
I said: “No, I care about you! I think you are precious and pure.”
I didn’t even finish saying this when you came, ripped my heart out of my hands, tossed it to the ground, and stomped on it. Before I could realize what was going on, I was also on the ground, dead.

I’m scared to death of the future. Everything seems so unsure between us, and I want to know for a fact that I will wake up with you occupying the other side of the bed for the rest of my life.

It sucks when all I can think of right now is YOU, our memories together. Fun times, and even those times when I got hurt because of you (this is one of those). This isn’t right, I know. You’re the worst person to love. You broke my heart multiple times and yet I still love you with all my heart. I hate that I have so many “what ifs”. I hate the fact that only you can bring me that much happiness. I hate the fact that there are other guys who’re trying to win me, and yet, it’s still you that I want. I love you too much. I’m sorry if I chose to let you go, You know that I’m just doing the right thing. Stop begging me to stay because I might lose my wisdom and go back. Baby, I love you. If things weren’t the same, and we were in a different situation, you know I’d fight for you. We both have to be strong. We both must accept that we’re not meant to be. I love you very much, bye.

I wish people told me more often that they cared about me because sometimes I just feel so lonely. I just want to make people happy and I try my hardest to but sometimes it just isn’t enough. Sometimes I’m just not enough. I wish I was. I wish I was enough, especially for you because you are so wonderful.

I need someone to help me. I'm falling through every crack. I'm forgetting to breathe; my lungs don't burn and my heart doesn't ease; the dots in the front of my eyes are the only things begging for life.

I'm becoming wreckless. I'm doing things for cheap thrills, but nothing compares to you.

I'm sick of everything I've become.

I wish I was still with you. I wish I was good enough for you. I'm not. But someone will come along who truly cares eventually. I'm never going to settle again.

I think I'm falling now. Falling from what I believed. I think I'm sinking through something. I hope I don't just hit the bottom and start over, again.

I don't know whether this is anger or emptiness. I don't know anything anymore

Yeah, I AM happy. And yes, I still do NOT like you. Not necessarily hate, but something along the lines of disgust and regret. Still, every night I leave my phone under my pillow. I want you to call me. I want you to tell me I’m beautiful and you miss me. Mostly, I want to mean something to you, even if I’m the messup in your mind. I want you just to tell me. I’ll wait forever; you still have your ringtone.

As much as you completely hurt me, I can’t seem to let go. No matter how hard I try, I just go running back to try and get what we used to have. Until I realized that all you are doing is hurting me…but I don’t think even that will keep me away from you.